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Why Do Children Lie And How To Prevent Them From It?

A growing kid will pick up on lies and make up a tale to tell their parents. But unfortunately, most of these have a lot to do with their imaginations.

This article will dive deep into the imaginative world of a kid’s mentality to understand what and where their lies stem from. We will also discuss how a parent should react upon discovering their kids’ lies and how to cope and prevent this bad habit.

Why Do Children Lie?

Kids fibbing to get their ways around something is a prevalent tactic. To them, it may seem like they have hit some jackpot with their newfound discovery of getting what they want. But, while detecting the lies is pretty easy, the hard part is to prevent them from doing it again.

It is easy for you to identify the lies they worked so hard to make you believe. Another reason kids lie could be that their lies had an aspect that grabbed their attention. This may be something they wish they could be a part of and experience.

Morally Superior

Some opt for falsehoods to seem more popular and famous among their friends on a severe note to the tweens. This may elevate their status among their circle or show who has the most power or authority in the group. In most cases, it’s a way of maintaining superiority and bossing others.

Over time, this can potentially become a dangerous behavior for a kid. It could completely stray them from being the person you want them to be. In addition, bossing over others and having superior complex behaviors are highly derogatory and isolating from the social norms among others of the same age range.

The Vivid Imagination of A Growing Child

Kids have a very active and vivid imagination. It’s ideal for growing kids to let their imaginations run wild. That being said, these imaginations must not take over themselves. For example, a toddler may have a dream about riding a unicorn through the meadows.

He may try to elaborate the telltale to try and make you believe that this happened. In such cases, you could question them whether it happened or it was something they wanted to happen.

The back and forth question eliminates the idea of judgment. It lets them know that you have figured out their exaggeration without disregarding their imagination.

Should You Be Concerned When Your Kids Lie?

As a parent who has recently discovered that their child has come across the ugly world of lies, it’s natural for you to feel bad. No matter how hard you may have tried, at some point, being exposed to lies and picking up on little bits of them is inevitable. It’s a hard pill to swallow as a parent but crucial to know how to respond to the situation.

In such cases, you need to take a few steps back and assess the situation immediately instead of coming at your child with force. In addition, it would help to talk to them in a calm and soothing voice with a stern tone and a relaxed face instead of clenching your jaws.

This visual appearance, combined with the stiff and understanding manner, will also help your child understand that their actions are understood but not tolerated or accepted and needs to face the consequences.

 What Should Parents Do When They Find Out Their Kids Are Lying?

You need to be able to reason and make the right decisions instead of being hyped with rage. In such cases, you need to have a stable mentality and collect yourself together before approaching your child.

When confronting, have a stern voice that states or dictates your instructions with a severe face that will warn them about the tough conversation coming their way.

These physical changes will also let them know that you don’t appreciate it and that it needs to be changed.

Being open and transparent with everyone and avoiding any misguiding conversation around kids are recommended. These behaviors will help your child flourish with an honest and truthful nature.

Speaking the Truth Has Fewer Consequences

Encouraging honesty, transparency, and truth at a young age will significantly impact your child’s behavior even when they grow into adults.

Every child needs to know that lying has consequences. However, it is also imperative that they know speaking the truth could set them free with minor consequences to face.

Parents could also opt to reward their kids for coming out with the truth themselves after they have lied. However, bear in mind that over-rewarding in this situation could undermine the fact that they did lie.

When they choose to come forward with the truth, you could reward them with a friendly, warm hug, allowing their favorite snack or cutting back on their time outs.

Being Composed

As triggering as it might be, you have to stay calm and composed about the matter. Take your time analyzing the situation and develop a functional and planned conversation. But bear in mind your child’s age and how it will affect them.

Once you have calmed down, have an open, direct, and straight-to-the-point conversation about what just happened and why they felt the need to lie instead of coming out with the truth.

They must know that truth is more welcome than a lie. An in-depth conversation calmly is more likely to get through to your kids than rude behavior and raging back and forth discussion ever will.

Praising The Honesty Over The Lies

Honesty should always be of top priority and be rewarded equally but not undermine the fact that lies are unacceptable. Once the lie has been spotted, both parties need to separate themselves. The separation is to pull themselves together and think about the situation.

After being settled down for a while, when the child decides to own up to the lies themselves, appreciate it vocally along with a warm hug or any other form of physical affection they approve of.

As adults, they own up to lies takes a lot of strength and willpower. But, for a kid, it takes much more than that. Therefore, when they understand that they have made a mistake that is not to be tolerated, appreciate their effort to come clean to you.

Let them know that truth will always be more welcoming than lies. This will have it settled in their minds that they are much better off without the lies.

Upon the confession, both verbal and physical affection and appreciation could play a significant role in understanding that the easier way around is, to tell the truth, and not ever feel the need to lie.

Being A Role Model

A child will pick up on what they see happening around them. So when they are growing kids, it should be of absolute top priority to never lie around them—or not lie to be the ideal role model for your child.

Adults in the household always need to encourage the kids to tell the truth. These encouragements don’t always need to be upfront. They can be subtle yet distinctive, so they know it is meant for them.

When the kids see you being honest and open at all times and having nothing to conceal, they will also learn not to feel the need to hide anything.

As adults, we know that white lies are necessary for social needs at times. Therefore, they could be excused in the absence of the kids around. However, if they are everywhere, lies of all sorts, including white lies, should be out of the picture.

Bottom Line

Even as hard as it may be, it is necessary to be pulled together before engaging in a conversation about the situation. But, first, you need to assess the severity of the lies and act accordingly.

What the lie was about also needs to be openly discussed. Having consequences alone can sometimes divert away from the intended cause.

It could lead to resentment and more aggression in return—so it’s essential to plan out how to approach your child regarding the matter.

Author Bio

Jason Hubble

is a certified polygraph examiner and a twenty-year veteran in forensic IT. He is the owner, chief examiner of Lie Detectors-UK, and the Secretary of the UKPA. His peers consider him to be a rising star in Lie Detection, having performed hundreds of tests both in the UK and Worldwide. His experience in the field of polygraphs and research into better practices within the industry make him one of the highest authorities in the area.

Lie Detectors UK
6 Buckland Road, Maidstone, ME16 0SL, UK
+44 020 7859 4960
https://www.liedetectors-uk.com/

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